Braiding Hair

I recently had a conversation with a coworker about the importance of feeling valued at your place of employment. It is so true that true contentment at work comes from feeling appreciated for your hard work but for me it is also knowing that I am making a difference. When Hunter was a baby I had a job that left me feeling dissatisfied. While at work I constantly pined to be with him and felt guilty for spending time away. In recent years I have experienced the exact opposite. I find that I truly look forward to my time at work. Of course we all have days where we wish we could be free of the responsibilities that come with a job (hence the desire to one day retire), but overall I look forward to the time I can spend with my students.

There is nothing as gratifying as working with students individually and helping them to see their own value. Since in my field I typically work with students who are struggling to succeed or are finding success to be stressful and cumbersome, I get to help them discover their own academic self worth. I have never worked with a "stupid" student. I have never worked with a student who is unable to learn and find success. What I constantly find is that I work with students who either do not understand themselves or have experienced so much failure that they have lost all hope. I feel so much pride in helping them debunk these myths. Every person has a set of unique and valuable skills. Every person is a genius in his/her own regard. It is finding those areas that is often the challenge.

Above all else, I make a difference in the lives of my students. I am not a tutor or teacher; I am a mentor. I nurture the emotional needs of my students just as much as I supplement their knowledge. I know that some of my students will remember me in their old age, and this is all of the reassurance that I need to feel content.

I currently work with a young student who has had a very difficult start to her life. Although she is in the process of being adopted by an amazing woman, her early years were nothing short of horrific. In a short period of time, I have grown to love this student as if she is a part of my family. Despite the raw deal she was initially dealt, she has such a strong spirit and desire to be happy. I have always allowed her to freedom to share stories with me when she feels she needs to. Some of them have been hard to hear and painful to push away when I try to fall asleep. But I have continued to love her and nurture her and show her how smart and amazing she genuinely is.

About a month ago while she was up at the board doing math problems I started to braid her hair. She is beautiful with long, wavy hair that would make any model envious, but it is always wild and untamed. At first she froze; I asked her if I was bothering her, but she quickly relaxed and told me she was fine. I finished her braid and couldn't help but gush over how beautiful she looked. The smile on her face was priceless. When we were done she proudly showed her new hair style to her mom.

The following week, her mom motioned me to stay behind as the student bounded to my office. She told me that she couldn't believe that I had been allowed to braid her hair. Apparently she hadn't let anyone touch her hair, an unfortunate consequence of demons from her past. Not even her mom had been allowed to brush or style it in their months living together and learning about one another. To say I felt honored was an understatement.

At the end of our session my student pulled out new hair bands and a bow and excitedly told me they were for me to use when I braided her hair. She had even gotten all dressed up for the occasion.

The hair braiding has now become a ritual. At the end of each session I take 5 minutes to style her hair. Although it seems like such a small thing on the surface I know that it is symbolic of something so much deeper for her and her path to true happiness. Knowing that I have been instrumental in that, even in just a tiny fraction, is all the pay I need.