The invisible mom

I read an article once about a woman who called herself the "Invisible Mom", and it really left an impression on me. Although I would love for my children to offer me unsolicited appreciation for the voluminous number of tasks I do for them each day (is this not any mother's utopia?), I really feel much more effective as an invisible mom. My goal in motherhood is to instill in my children good values and morals, to teach them how to be happy and productive members of society. There's an old saying that parents should aim for their children to "live in fear" of them, but I've decided that this is not utlimately what I want as a mother. I want my children to make the right choices just because they feel right, not because they are afraid of mom's wrath. When I silently observe my children being good people I know that this is because their hearts are enveloped by the arms of their invisible mom.

I have struggled in recent weeks with my demanding work load and questioning whether or not my children will still receive enough from their invisible "invisible" mom when I work a 14 hour work day. Life is ultimately about balance, but I think there is something valuable in my children being able to watch me throw my passion into something other than them. I do not say this in criticism of the many stay-at-home moms out there (talk about a never-ending and often unappreciated job), but more as a revelation about my own character. For years I struggled with the fact that I like to work and questioning if this made me less of a mother. I know the women in my mother's generation who grew up in the quintessential 50s households are bracing their hearts right now, but it is the truth. I love my children and my family; they are primary in every decision I make throughout the day. That doesn't change that I enjoy having an element of my life that I can claim as just my own. In a household where I rarely get to eat my own dinner or use the restroom uninterrupted, having my very own space all to myself...well that is just another blessing on my list! I hope that as adults my children will know that as much as my heart ached for them when I couldn't be with them every hour of their little lives, my heart also swells with pride for being able to give them a supportive foundation to leap from. We all make sacrifices in this life, it is just a matter of making the most constructive sacrifices for your family.

I know that I live the American dream and, every day, I am thankful for the opportunity to blossom into the kind of human being and mother that I have always longed to be, invisible as that may make me.